Home, where the bed is

we drove home today, 1 day early.
didnt have a proper vernon gig lined up, and nothing could top our 'free' show yesterday.
plus, we got $100 back for bringing the van home a day early, good show boys.

there was a fun anticipation for the skate park show yesterday.
every show so far had been awesome, in its own special way.
we slept in, hugged mel goodbye, then let the sunny skies push us south of saskatoon.
and back into the lower regions of alberta.

strange pastures, these prairie lands.
dry, slow towns, on a dart board of road and wheat.
like mexico, without the booze and pools.

we rolled into medicine hat, fired up to stir the dust.
this show was planned over a series of emails with some girl i'd never met.
and as it turned out, will never meet, cause when we got into town, she vaporized.

no worry, lets find the kin coulee!
hey! there's the skate park!
hey! there's the stage...about 786 metres away...
ok, lets go check it out.

the kin coulee is a beautiful park.
surrounded by cascading prairie cliffs, prosperous trees, and golfy-green grass.
top it all off, with an amazing band shell, very much like the one in fort george park.
the stage was wicked, but there was 1 problem, power...
oh wait...the power works! this is gonna be awesome!!!
oh wait...there is literally not 1 single human being in this park, other than us.
on the flyers, that were apparently circulated, the show started in 9 minutes.

so, we did the most punk-rock thing we've done this week.
we set up, and went to work.
and played our best show of the tour, to an empty park, on a beautiful sun-soaked day.
people would periodically walk by, confused and/or disoriented, but certainly amused.
most songs ended with 1 person clapping, from a swing set or a fathers shoulder.
some songs, i honestly believe were only heard by the birds and the antelope.
i was hoping the cops would show up, for good video footage, no dice.
at the end, we unplugged, and started packing up, with a quiet confidence among us.
then 2 punks showed up and said "awww man its over!?!"
so we plugged back in and played the best encore the kin coulee has ever seen.
you bet your ass they got free CD's.
we left medicine hat the same way we came in, 4 idiots laughing in a van.

spent another night at jeffrey mike's house in calgary, back on the road at 6am this morning.
rolled into port moody at around 4:45pm, after another stunning ride through the rockies.
of which, i slept most of.

so that's it, we're back.
tired and inspired.
ready to attack, and mobilized to make the next one bigger and bolder.

this trip has made us a fatter, faster, friendlier band.
with experiences to exploit.
the damn has broken, get ready for the flood.

i wanted this blog to be way better.
but its not easy to explain whats filling the glass, while the water is running full blast.
luckily, we filmed hours of footage, and the editing room will be bustling in the coming days.

our website will be up soon, and it will be a plethora of idiotism, i promise.

we are still an infant band, but when an infant is left locked in a van for 6 days while daddy gambles, there are always new and exciting stories to tell.

tonight i sleep in my own bed, not gregs floor, jeffs floor, mels floor, or the van floor.
i have tomorrow off, and i plan on not riding in a fart-laced steel box full of idiots eating subway.
although, give it a couple days, and i just may change my mind.

thanks for reading, ill see you all at okie dogs.

like sex for dophins

the duke and i were in the lower left corner before the lights went low.
i had seen our shirt and album on the ledge, near kent, with my hawk-eyed brother on tap.
since i had paid off our first 2 or 4 pops, it was the dukes turn to earn more.
so i told him to get-the-shit to the bar.
about 1 second after he left, kent grabbed our shirt, checked the size, XL, smiled, pulled off his red shirt, and pulled YOU BIG IDIOT over his head



you dont know kent.
and neither do i.
but he is in charge of everything.

and i pretty much died when that shirt thing happened.

then NOFX came on stage, the greatest band in the history of burning history.
and they sounded great.

we played perfect government and reeko, on every show this tour.
and they played both tonight.
not enough people stopped us to request songs off pump up the val, but i calm.

met great people tonight.
Hanako, her sis Emmy, the other Colin with 1 l, Miguel from Teenage Bottlerocket, and more.
...and Kent.
meeting people is easy.

we did this, to do this.
luck is no risk when you have commitment.
if this is all a dream, duke crashed the van.

...but more importantly.

At 2:30 AM this morning Steven John Pearson finished his 6th foot of sub in 17 hours.

Excuse me, I have to go see The Decline live.

HOFX

shafter found a Don Ho record at the Value Village in Kamloops.
but 4 bucks was way too steep.
yesterday we bought Saskatoon shirts at VV.
and flyer'd the place up real good.
punks like cheap used clothing coated with obscurities.
i dont remember a VV in calgary, if we went, im sure it was an epic adventure.

today was our day off, so we all slept in, then shotgunned beers in a park and went bowling.
mel bowled a cheated turkey.
shafter won, and bought vegetables with our money.
then we went for a wicked mexican dinner in honor of el hefe, he didnt show up.
heading to the NOFX show in 20 min.
tony sly is opening, solo acoustic, and the duke is gonna cry.

put a shirt on

last night was certainly a punk show.
we flyer'd a bar next door and found some nofx fans, they started fights.
steve kicked a blue haired suicide into a post.
the after-party was a thunderstorm, then it started snowing.
the best part: we all slept in actual beds.

thanks mel, thanks brandon, thanks saskatoon.

tonight we go watch our favorite band, tomorrow we drive to a skate park in medicine hat.

saskaslam

"mind your own business dickcat" -the duke

we are in saskatoon, at a mel bbq.
going to the show soon, fired up on these flat lands.
the plan for tonight: kill everyone.

so far, steve has eaten 4 feet of his height in sub.

JMR

greg's living-room floor led to a surprisingly comfortable morning.

and today was a day of many free meals.

started with a fancy subway breakfast, free for 1 day in history, today.

ended with our free and delicious dinners at the greatest punk club any of us has ever seened.

its going to be hard to describe the distillery with words instead of proof.

as if the cobalt and the commodore had a 2-red-bottle-dinner and drove out an awesome kid who wakeboards.

basically its my favorite place ever.

many great ways was feeled by all.

"play this show as if NOFX is watching" -SJP

we did.

and it spilled spiders on the stage.

i died about 8 songs in, and was held hopping by mysterious sources, namely: how great this place is.

it was probably the best we have ever played in our pasturous career, in front of the smallest crowd.

but it felt like a full house, and feeling feely things makes us all fancy and free.

its 4am and i want to keep going, but we are getting up in 4 hours to drive to saskatoon.

dont worry, shafter is passed out on the couch next to me, as are the others, and im basically not allowed to drive.

SO IM GONNA END THIS FAST AND QUOTEY:

philly, the owner of the distillery, will have lasting effect on this project.

todays drive through the rockies was a basket of sunshine amazing, i filmed duke peeing.

i am in jeff roxqueensbouroughbridges living room in calgary alberta canada.

"dear less paul and docc, thanks for the beers on wednesday, i abuse my status" -the duke

"if i wake up to you snoring, im waking you up." -shafter

"boner jams 0-3" -SJP

tomorrow, we surf the prairies, and my brother eats his height in sub.

Colin and Duke

4 AM is a blur for a second night in a row.

I went to bed at about 1, currently up and making a PB on Harvest Flax.

The attempt at hushed humour failed. A kitchen with many lights, loud voices, and no door.

Colin and Duke just joined Steve on the floor where he and I attempted to sleep unsuccessfully. I was enjoying the abandoned kitchen until he walked by close to naked and the sound of urine reverberated from the bathroom, to the kitchen, and around my brain. I do not expect to sleep. Colin kept mentioning an Orange, but I have yet to find it.

The Kami was perfectly imperfect. The Distillery promises glory.

This is my life.

And I love it.

-Shafter

Kami

this girl needed a charge, and shafter sold her a half priced album.
greg learned me on nofx and sang along when i learned it back.
i bought an orange for shafer, on the way home from bar #3.
steve is emailing theo, telling him to frig-off-lahey.

this is how i feel about kamloops:
greg, greg, GREG.
cam and simon understand that 3rd gregorium.

show #2 - the kami inn

they didnt have bombay, shafer was pissed.
the stage was the size of a ping table, no pong.
so we un-screwed the owner, and he bought 2 albums.

"you write what you wanna write" -gal to my left, guarding steve from winker or welted.

godda wake up soon, or re-sleep in diff position soon in van form.
mike j wishes he came with, so he could paint this house a faster way to calgary.
instead we stay up, and keep going, cause someones gona pass me a beer, done.

see ya tomorrow.

"i can smell jeff" -steve d.

We Like Mike

tonight was awesome.
exactly the jump-start we needed.
someone hooked a car battery up to the duke.
and he shot sparks out across the open lounge.
pretty sure we got some rad footage, will post from the road tomorrow.
told my mom to wake me up at 8:15am.
27 snoozes later, we'll be on the road by noon.

Even Idiots can write Haiku's

Excitement consumes
In stomache, in throat, in mouth
In the toilet bowl

Here goes nothing...

Well, well, well...its finally here...our half-Canada tour starts tomorrow!
Show #1: Vancouver - Weds April 21
@ The Backstage Lounge
1585 Johnston Street (on Granville Island)
$6 - Doors at 9pm
playing with "Hospital Blonde"

We will be posting on here during the tour, check back for photos, videos, and road regrets.
This is the first time for all 4 of us, the unknown lies ahead.
Expectations range in size, as do the limitations of our bodies.
6 punk shows in 7 nights.
When it comes to insane ideas like this, I usually fall back on the same theory:

It sure beats doing nothing.

See ya on the road.